Business Communication Discussion

InstructionsThe Communication Problem Analysis is a written assignment that asks you to write
about a problem you are having in communication with another person in your life. It
can be a large problem or a small one. Read through the instructions on the assignment
sheet below. I have also included a Communication Problem Analysis student sample
below, which should give you a good idea what I am looking for.
This assignment asks you to analyze one aspect of the communication skills you have
learned this semester. Please follow the steps below. See the sample for an idea how
long and how detailed your answers should be.
Communication Problem Analysis
Choose one problem that you currently have with communication with one person in
your life.
The Problem
1. Who the person is you have chosen?
just the name goes here
2. Briefly describe your relationship with that person
You have two questions to answer here: How do you know them? What is your
relationship like?
3. Describe (with examples) the communication problem you are having with that
person.
4. Write out a sample dialogue, a typical conversation you have had with that person
that illustrates the problem you are having.
it doesn’t have to be an actual word for word conversation. Just give an example of
what a typical conversation that illustrates the problem would sound like
name
statement
________: ____________________________________________________________
__
________: ____________________________________________________________
__
Etc.
5. Choose one communication topic from this class that relates to the problem you are
having and list it here.
For example, it could be one of the following topics: (please choose only one).
distorted self concept
self fulfilling prophecy
perception checking
difference between hearing and listening
why humans are poor listeners
types of nonlistening
Self Disclosure
Knapp’s Stages of Relationship Development
Johari Window
Communication climate
Confirming and disconfirming communication
Defensiveness
Defense mechanisms
Conflict styles
6. Relate that topic (the same one listed in #5) to the communication problem you have
described in #3.
in this section, you want to show me that you know that topic from class and what it
means. You also need to show how it relates to your own experience
7. How could the problem be improved?
What can YOU do to help solve the problem, even if it is not you that is primarily at
fault? It can be something you have learned in class, or an idea you have the might
work. Don’t tell me what the other person should do, like “Bob needs to stop being a
jerk.” This isn’t Bob’s paper. It is true that he is being a jerk, but what can you do to
facilitate a better relationship? In an extreme case, the only thing you might be able to
do is leave the relationship.
8. Write out a sample dialogue, how the conversation might go in its
improved form.
name
statement
________: ____________________________________________________________
__
________: ____________________________________________________________
__
Student Sample
The Problem
1. Who the person is you have chosen?
Bob Cooke
2. Briefly describe your relationship with that person
How do you know them? What is your relationship like?
Bob is my brother-in-law. He has been married to my sister for the past 17 years. We
have a cold and distant relationship.
3. Describe (with examples) the communication problem you are having with that
person.
The problem I am having is that Bob does not seem to want to talk to me. I try to talk to
him and he is busy, makes excuses in order to avoid me, walks away or simply ignores
me. For example, when I was at his house for dinner last Sunday, I tried to talk to him
and he told me he was busy, walked into the garage and started working on his car. He
closed the door when I tried to follow him in there.
4. Write out a sample dialogue, a typical conversation you have had with that
person that illustrates the problem you are having.
Nancy: Hey Bob, it’s great to see you! How are things going?
Bob: I’m doing fine. I’m actually really busy right now.
Nancy: What are you up to?
Bob: I’m working on my car project. I don’t have time to talk
Nancy: But I haven’t seen you in a while and I just want to catch up
Bob: I have to go.
Nancy: But Bob, I really want to talk to you
Bob: Why don’t you help your sister in the kitchen? I’m going in the garage Nancy: Can I
come with you?
Bob: (walks into the garage and slams the door)
5. Choose ONE communication topic from this class that relates to the problem
you are having.
Self Disclosure
6. Relate that topic (the same one listed in #5) to the communication problem you
have described in #3.
I chose self disclosure because I believe this topic from class relates to the problem I
am having. Self Disclosure is the process of revealing personal information about
yourself. One of the characteristics of self disclosure is that it is necessary for
relationship growth. I feel like my relationship with Bob is cold and distant because he is
uncomfortable with self disclosure. We also learned in class that unbalanced self
disclosure can make one partner in the relationship uncomfortable. I certainly have felt
uncomfortable in the relationship due to Bob’s lack of self disclosure.
7. How could the problem be improved? (what can YOU do to help solve the
problem, even if it is not you that is primarily at fault).
I think I may be approaching Bob at a bad time. I should ask him to go out for a beer
with me on a day of his choosing so it is a time when he is not busy working on his car. I
can also ask my sister if she knows what I might have done to cause Bob to want to
avoid me. If the problem is that Bob is uncomfortable with self disclosure, I should
certainly respect his feelings. I can also gradually self disclose a little bit about myself.
Since self disclosure is reciprocal, Bob may also begin to self disclose a little bit also.
8. Write out a sample dialogue, how the conversation might go in its improved
form.
Nancy: Hey, Bob, Its great to see you! How’s it going?
Bob: I’m fine. I’m actually busy right now
Nancy: Oh, well in that case, maybe we can chat later in the week
Bob: I guess that would be alright
Nancy: What evening works best for you?
Bob: Well, Heather works late on Thursdays, so that is probably best
Nancy: That works great for me. I’ll meet you at Hooley’s around 6:00 and I’ll buy you a
beer
Bob: Ok, I will see you then.
Nancy: I’m looking forward to hearing more about your car project.
Self Disclosure
What is Self Disclosure?
Self Disclosure is a tool we use to get closer to people. It helps our relationships
develop.
Self Disclosure (definition)
The process of revealing personal information about yourself.
Who do you self disclose with? You can potentially self disclose with anyone in your life.
Characteristics of Self Disclosure
Self Disclosure is necessary for relationship growth
A relationship will not grow closer without it. I have worked at Cuyamaca College for 30
years. There are people that I have worked with and seen most days of my life for 30
years, and all I have ever said to them is, “How’s it going?” I am no closer to those
people than I was 30 years ago, because we have never gotten to know each other. I
am closer to many of you, even though I have only known you a short time because we
have self disclosed a bit.
Self Disclosure is necessary for trust to develop
We build trust by self disclosing. Self Disclosure builds trust because we make
ourselves vulnerable. We take a risk by sharing with others because they now have
information that they could potentially use to hurt us in some way. For example, they
could share that information with other people, or throw something we have said or
done back in our faces in the future.
In order for a statement to qualify as self disclosure it must be intentional,
significant and not know by others
Significant
I will start by self disclosing. I will tell you that I have a mother. Is that self disclosure?
No. The statement is about me, but it does not reveal anything particularly important, or
significant. You and I will not grow closer if I share this relatively unimportant piece of
information about myself. A statement must be significant in order to qualify as self
disclosure. Of course, what is considered significant varies from person to person. I
don’t mind telling you I am 56 years old. That does not feel like significant information to
me because it is just the number of times the earth has revolved around the sun since I
was born. I can’t control it and don’t feel like I should be embarrassed by it. But many
women (especially women my age) would feel like sharing their age with you IS
significant information.
Not Known to Others
Ok, I will self disclose something significant this time. I’m short. Is that self disclosure?
No. It is obvious. Because you have met me in person or seen video of me, you already
knew that. It doesn’t make us closer or build trust for me to share that with you because
I am not taking a risk.
Intentional
Imagine that you walked into my office and I wasn’t there. You sat down to wait for me
and noticed a half composed email on my desk top. You didn’t intend to pry, but
curiosity got the better of you. You noticed in the email I mention that my brother John is
in recovery from an alcohol addiction. He has been sober for 16 years and I am very
proud of him. Is that self disclosure? No. Although it is significant information and it is
not already known by you, it is not self disclosure because I did not reveal it
intentionally. It would not make us closer or build trust unless I shared it with you
willingly.
Revealing too much, too soon can damage the relationship
Self disclosure is a great tool for getting to know others. But if someone has just met
you, and they reveal too much, it can make you uncomfortable (as your reading #4
indicated). Take your time and reveal things when it feels appropriate to do so. Follow
the lead of the other person.
Unbalanced or One-Sided Self Disclosure can cause problems
If one person in a relationship has revealed a lot about themselves and the other person
hasn’t, it can put a strain on the relationship. The one who has disclosed a lot can begin
to feel uncomfortable. They may worry that the other person doesn’t trust them.
Self Disclosure should take place at the appropriate time and place
If you decide to tell someone something personal, you should do it in private. You don’t
know how the person might react if you share something personal and you want to give
them the opportunity to react without others watching or listening. It can be awkward to
put someone on the spot.
Self Disclosure is generally reciprocal
In other words, when one person discloses, the other person is likely to respond by self
disclosing as well. In fact, as we get to know someone, we tend to disclose things
gradually, and the level of self disclosure gets deeper and more significant.
Self Disclosure decreases over time, but never stops
I was married for 25years. By that time, I had probably heard all of his childhood stories
and he had heard all of mine. So since we have disclosed everything significant in our
pasts, do we eat our meals in silence for the rest of our lives? No, we continue to
disclose. Each day we have new experiences and insights to share. This is important
because it causes us to continue to feel close to our partner.
Gender Differences
Most people would guess that women self disclose more than men. Well, they do, but
only by a little. Women tend to disclose more across the board (if we take into account
every situation and every topic). With men, once you get them opened up, they tend to
let it all out at once. So the total amount of self disclosure does not differ all that much
between men and women. The one statistic that is quite different is this one: Women
are BY FAR more often the recipients of self disclosure. Women tend to be who both
men and women disclose TO.
Cultural Differences
There are cultural differences in the rules for self disclosure. Certain topics (like how
much money we make) are taboo topics for some cultures, but ok to disclose in other
cultures. As a whole, people in the U.S. tend to disclose MORE than people from other
cultures.
Listening Problems
Common Listening Problems
What are some of the reasons that humans aren’t very good at listening?
Psychological Distractions
These are things are happening in our minds that distract us.
For example, you might be worried about something.
Physical Distractions
These are things that are happening with our bodies that make it hard to focus.
For example, pain, hunger, or sleepiness.
Environmental Distractions
These are things that are happening all around us that can distract us. Environmental
distractions are things happening in the outside world.
For example, your phone (this is clearly the biggest distraction we have) TV, computers,
any type of multitasking, an attractive person walking by, etc.
Unfamiliarity
When we are unfamiliar with things, we don’t listen as well or as long.
For example, when we are listening in on a calculus or a chemistry class and haven’t
learned the material, or our friends talking about a TV show that we haven’t watched,
we are not as likely to listen well because we don’t understand what is being said. Oh
my gosh, can you believe Michael and Holly broke up? I have heard people say things
like this and assumed they were talking about real people, not characters from a TV
show. What if I said to you, You just got hit by a fireball, so you need to make a dex
save against 15? Unless you play that particular game, you probably have no idea what
I am talking about. Sadly, this also applies to people who look or sound differently than
we are used to. We also don’t listen as well or as long to them.
We think we don’t need to listen well
We think we don’t need to listen well, because we already know what the person we are
listening to is going to say. For example, do you have an elderly relative that tells you
the same story over and over? You feel like you don’t need to listen because you know
exactly what they are going to say. This can also happen because of stereotyping. You
might think to yourself, oh, hey, there is another one of THOSE type of people (fill in the
blank with any stereotype: vegetarian, NRA member, Trump supporter, etc.) We think
we don’t need to listen because we already know exactly what they are going to say.
Hint: we actually don’t.
Lack of advantages
Sometimes we don’t listen well because we don’t think we have anything to gain from
listening.
For example, when we are involved in a heated debate with someone about a political
or social issue, instead of listening carefully to what the other person is arguing, we are
often thinking about what we are going to say next. We are at least trying to do both at
the same time, which usually doesn’t work very well.
Lack of training
We simply aren’t taught to listen well. Most of us have very little or no training in
listening skills, at least not until you enrolled in Comm 120 🙂
We are SO good at avoiding listening, that we have developed some pretty useful
techniques for not listening. We call them types of Nonlistening.
Types of Nonlistening
Which of these nonlistening behaviors do you use most?
Pseudolistening
Pseudo means fake or false. So pseudolistening is pretend listening. We make it look
and sound like we are listening, but our attention is on something else. We make eye
contact, nod and smile, and even respond with things like Ummhmmm, or oh, yeah?
Really? but our minds are somewhere else entirely. This usually happens because we
try to listen while we are sending a text or watching TV. We can get away with it
sometimes, but it is embarrassing when we get caught.
Stage-hogging
Stage-hogging is a behavior of people that people use to avoid listening. Stage-Hoggers
simply talk so much they never give anyone else a chance. Therefore, they don’t have
to listen. Do you know someone like this? They talk and talk. They will only stop talking
for one of three reasons:
to breathe
because, as it turns out, that is necessary
to use your comments to give them something else to talk about
if they ran out of things to say, you get a chance to talk and they say, Oh, that reminds
me……. and go off again.
to keep you from running away
because it is no fun to be a stage-hogger all by yourself
Selective listening
When selective listening, people only hear what they want to hear or what applies to
them. For example, you are at a party and you hear your name being spoken. It is likely
you will hear that part. Or in class, I might say the word quiz or exam and that gets
people listening. Imagine that you ask someone out on a date. They respond with, gosh,
I would really love to, but no, I can’t because I have something else I have to do that
night. And what you heard was not the word “no”, but that they would really love to go
out with you. You hear what want to hear.
Insulated Listening
With insulated listening, we block out what we don’t want to hear. Have you been
around a hungry toddler? A three year old might ask for a cookie. You tell the three year
old there are no cookies. But the toddler just keeps repeating that she wants a cookie.
Or you tell a friend that you don’t really feel like going to the party tonight. And they say,
they will pick you up at 9. When I was 12 or so, I remember my Mom asking me to do a
chore for her. I would say, “Sure, Mom” without really listening. Then I would find I
couldn’t remember what it was she wanted me to do. We block out what we don’t want
to hear.
Defensive Listening
People who are defensive listeners take things you intended as innocent as an attack.
They are on guard for attacks all the time. They say things like, “So what is that
supposed to mean?” I might say to one of my sons, “You did a really good job cleaning
your room.” The other son might say, “Are you saying I didn’t do a good job
cleaning my room?” So instead of really listening, defensive listeners just want to get
upset at you for attacking them (which you didn’t actually do).
Ambushing
People who are ambushers actually are very good listeners. They listen very carefully
to everything you say, then file it away to use against you at a later date. Has this ever
happened to you? You share with a friend how you really feel about something, and that
friend brings it up against you. They might say, “You said you would NEVER date the ex
of a good friend!” You might find out that the friend shared what you said with someone
else, even though you asked them to keep it private. Ambushers are listening for their
own gain.