COMM 200 Ashford University Week 3 Communication Skills and Self Disclosure Questions

Prior to beginning work on this assignment, read the sections in Bevan on job satisfaction (Section 6.2), conversation management (Section 7.2), and self-disclosure (Section 7.4). Also, if you are struggling with the questions review the supplemental documents in the “

Resources

” box below, where you will find advice and videos to help you think through the topics.

Resources

Click each source below:

In this assignment, you will use the 

Short Answer Assignment

 template, and respond to three prompts to illustrate your knowledge of communication and job satisfaction, conversation management, communication and the importance of self-disclosure. For each question, your response must be 300 to 350 words.

6.2
How Interpersonal Communication Can Enhance Professional Succe
ss
Though BPC tends to focus on how colleagues communicate with one another about busine
ss and professional matters, interpersonalmessages and relationships among colleagues ar
e also important aspects of BPC and are integral to workplace success. As we have seen,soci
al support from our colleagues helps buffer against negative health effects that stem from
work (Birmingham & HoltLunstad, 2018)and contributes to productivity and other constructive workplace outcomes
(Wagner et al., 2015); also, employers recognize and seek outthe value of interpersonal co
mmunication when hiring new employees. The next sections explore additional ways that i
nterpersonalcommunication can enhance your success at work and your career advanceme
nt.
Professionalism
The term professional is applied to occupations or activities related to work or careers that
require certain skills, competence, or character.
The related concept of professionalism refers to the principles of behavior and communic
ation that are appropriate and effective in thesemore formal settings. Professionalism is an
important soft skill in the workplace (Robles, 2012). The Center for Professional Excellence
(CPE), which conducts an annual survey on professionalism in the workplace, reported in 2
015 (the last year the survey was conducted)that HR professionals and managers designate
a number of components of professionalism, including being focused, punctual/attentive,h
umble, diligent, and having communication skills. Many of these components are directly re
lated to verbal and nonverbal communicationskills necessary to communicate with others i
n business and professional settings. However, these skills are lacking in recent graduates:
Themost recent annual NACE survey (2018) found that 89.4% of students felt they were pr
oficient in professionalism/work ethic but that only42.5% of employers agreed.
The communication skills discussed thus far in this text apply to professional settings just a
s much as they do to other environments.
However, the context of a professional environment, such as the college classroom or the w
orkplace, imposes some specific requirementson the ways that individuals communicate. S
ome of the most important requirements for conveying professionalism are outlined in thef
ollowing sections. Many of the elements are central in business and professional settings b
ut are important in our personal lives as well.
James Woodson/Photodisc/Thinkstock
We often use informal language when we have a familiarrelationship with someone, but for
mal language should beused in academic and professional settings.
Formal Language
Formal language is more careful, articulate, and mannered than everydayspeech. It is used t
o express serious thought and is clear, accurate, and notoverly emotional. As we noted in C
hapter 4 when discussing verbalcommunication, formal language is the standard and appro
priate form ofcommunication in the academic world, in most professional settings, withclie
nts and customers, in professional and technical writing, and in publicspeaking situations.
Formal language avoids idioms, popular slang, biasedlanguage, and verbal fillers such as “li
ke.” Recall from Chapter 4 thatbiased language includes racist, sexist, ablest, and homopho
bic language,so it is wise to consider how others might prefer to be described and becultura
lly sensitive when selecting terms that others may find demeaning.In these ways, using for
mal language conveys professionalism and theprinciple of taking responsibility for how yo
u communicate that weintroduced in Chapter 1.
If we have established a familiar relationship with someone, we often useslang expressions
in our conversations, emails, and texts, and we worryless about using correct punctuation, grammar, and sentence
structure. Itcan be argued that everyday conversations, social network posts, textmessages
, and personal emails have conditioned us to respond quickly and briefly to messages via both mediated an
d face-tofacechannels. Specifically, Larry Rosen and his colleagues (2010) found that individuals wit
h some or no college education who used more brieflanguage in their electronic interaction
s (called textisms) also created formal writing that was of lower quality. This was also the c
ase forindividuals with some college education who sent more text and instant messages. A
s a result of using more of these textisms, when wemust deliver an oral presentation at wor
k or send a well-written letter or email to a customer, we may be unsure how best to proceed.Failing to recognize the necessit
y of a more formal communication style in a professional setting is a significant mistake tha
t people make inthe classroom and workplace.
However, formal communication matters: Poor verbal skills during an interview, including
incorrect grammar, often have negativeconsequences for job candidates (CPE, 2012) and ca
n leave a bad impression on coworkers or clients. So, it is wise to write (e.g., usegrammar a
nd spell checks, avoid casual language, etc.) and speak (e.g., use mutuallyrecognized jargon instead of slang, do not speak inhashtags or abbreviations, etc.) in class a
nd at work more formally than you communicate via text and on social media. In sum, it is a
goodidea to treat education and work environments as formal language environments in w
hich you put your best professional foot forward.
Integrity
Plagiarizing, lying, cheating, missing deadlines, and not doing what you say you will do are
behaviors that demonstrate a lack of integrity.Crucial for both personal and professional su
ccess, integrity involves behaving and communicating honestly and ethically, being true to
your word, and honoring your commitments. Having integrity reflects two of our competen
t interpersonal communication principles: takingresponsibility for your communication be
havior and respecting others and yourself. Business executives rank integrity as the mosti
mportant soft skill in the workplace (Robles, 2012), and Indeed.com (n.d.) lists integrity as
an important soft skill that employers seek in jobcandidates. Lack of integrity affects your r
eputation and undermines others’ trust in you and thus negatively affects your professional
ism. Itis extremely difficult to restore trust in a relationship once it is broken.
Plagiarism, for example, is an important example of an integrity violation. You commit plagi
arism when you present someone else’s wordsor ideas as if they are your own. In other wo
rds, you must give the original source of an idea the proper credit, or you are being dishone
stand unethical by presenting someone else’s work—
be it their writing, data, thoughts, or even answers on an exam—
as if you did the workyourself. Plagiarizing can range from buying someone else’s paper on
the Internet and submitting it with your name on it to using your ownpaper in multiple cou
rses without informing your instructors. Allowing someone to copy your exam answers is a
lso plagiarism, as is notparticipating in a group project but taking credit for the final produc
t.
We tend to think of plagiarism as just an academic integrity violation, but many of these exa
mples can extend to the business world as well.For example, what if you worked really har
d on an idea that you had for a new product idea at your company, but your colleague, who
youhad confided in about your idea early on, presented it to your boss first as their own? Y
ou would likely feel betrayed, angry, and evenviolated. That is how someone else might feel
if they discovered that another person was presenting their hard work as their own withou
t itbeing properly credited to them.
How do we ensure that we are not committing plagiarism? In academic settings, every univ
ersity has an academic integrity policy that youcan familiarize yourself with. Course syllabi
also frequently spell out what plagiarism is, and your course instructor is always happy tod
iscuss how to avoid plagiarizing before you begin working on a project or when a paper is s
till in draft form. In the workplace, be clearabout which contributions were made by which
team members in a group project, and be careful who you share a “big idea” with if it mayb
e proprietary later. Always try to put ideas in writing (even email) early on to establish their provenance.
Respect for Others
As we mentioned in Chapter 1, respect is one of the principles of competent interpersonal c
ommunication. Respect for others is alsoimperative for success in your personal and profes
sional life. Be considerate of others by using respectful language, being polite, and beingenc
ouraging. Someone who is respectful also appreciates diversity, values differences among c
oworkers, avoids biased language andattitudes, and calls people by the terms and names th
at they prefer to be called. Additionally, communicating with respect will aid you inachievin
g your goals—including those in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, for example—
as well as in building and maintaining positiverelationships with coworkers and classmates
that render it easier to complete school- and work-related goals.
Over the past few decades, language in professional settings has evolved to replace sexist a
nd other biased terms with more inclusivelanguage (see examples in Table 6.1). Using mor
e inclusive language demonstrates respect for others, which reflects professionalism.
Table 6.1: Replacing sexist or biased language with inclusive terms
Sexist or biased term
Inclusive term
businessman
business owner, business executive,
cancer victim; AIDS victim
cancer patient; person with AIDS
chairman
chairperson or chair
confined to a wheelchair
uses a wheelchair
Congressman
Congressperson
Eskimo
Inuit or Aleut
fireman
firefighter
freshman
first-year student
Indian (when referring to U.S. indigenous peoples)
Native American or specific tribe
policeman
police officer
man or mankind
people, humanity, or the human race
man hours
working hours
man-made
manufactured, machine-made, synth
manpower
personnel or workforce
Negro or colored
African American or Black
old people or elderly
senior citizen, mature adult, older ad
Oriental
Asian, Asian American, or specific cou
postman or mailman
postal worker or mail carrier
steward or stewardess
flight attendant
suffers from diabetes
has diabetes
to man
to operate, to staff, to cover
waiter or waitress
server
Collaboration
It is common in classrooms and in the workplace to form work groups, project teams, task f
orces, committees, and other groups toaccomplish tasks. Success in team efforts requires g
ood interpersonal communication skills and the ability to collaborate, or to workcooperati
vely with others to accomplish goals. In order for a professional team to successfully produ
ce a desired outcome, theircommunication encounters must involve planning, delegating, a
nd collaborating in a way that is shared and agreed upon by the group.Thus, being collabor
ative is a final integral component of professionalism.
Professional Reputation
The verbal and nonverbal messages that you use in the workplace or the classroom can affe
ct your reputation. Emily Bennington and SkipLineberg (2010), authors of Effective Immedi
ately: How to Fit In, Stand Out, and Move Up at Your First Real Job, state that in many instanc
es,people’s professional reputations are not destroyed by one or two major errors. Instead,
their reputations are chipped away over time bycontinual communication mistakes. Your p
rofessional reputation refers to how much professionalism your clients and colleagues pe
rceiveyou to have. Some specific mistakes can negatively impact your professional reputati
on, including email errors and communication inmeetings. These mistakes are discussed in the following s
ections.
E-Mail Errors
Professional reputations are frequently harmed by the errors people make with email messages. Everyone makes an occasional mistake,but consistent errors in punctuation
, grammar, spelling, and sentence structure create negative impressions among people who
read youremails, as these errors can be signs of poor judgment, lack of care, sloppiness, or laziness. Se
nding personal messages such as jokes orchain letters, using biased or offensive language, a
nd including abbreviations that may not be understood by others are other common email problems that can affect an employee’s professional reputation. Sending inappropriate
messages on work computers can be harmfulto your career as well; they are usually a viola
tion of organizational policies.
Misunderstandings are also frequent in email because the tone of the communication is often difficult to determine. The short, infor
malstyle of many email messages can be interpreted by a recipient as terse or rude. It is best to carefully proof
read each email that you sendto your professional recipients and ensure that its content is clear and ea
sily understood. Emails are also more efficient and more likely tobe understood when the sender provides a c
lear, descriptive title for their content and starts a new email chain when the topic haschanged. Such small e-mailrelated actions can go a long way in moving all parties on the email chain toward achieving shared meaning,one of our competent interpersonal communi
cation principles from Chapter 1.
Communication in Meetings
When you communicate in workplace meetings, you must be sensitive to the organization
al culture, or how an organization’s mission,values, and attitudes are translated into comm
unication policies and practices (Eisenberg & Riley, 2001). Similar to societal cultures,work
place cultures dictate what an organization’s workers perceive as appropriate, normal, and
accepted. In your next meeting, observethe practices of the other participants using what y
ou have learned thus far in this course as a guide. For example, how is the powerdistance b
etween managers and subordinates communicated? Do managers sit at the head of the tabl
e to emphasize the distance, or dothey mix in at different spots with subordinates to flatten
out the power distance? When beginning at an organization, it is wise to seekanswers to th
ese questions. In meetings, follow cultural norms, know when it is prudent to speak up or t
o remain silent, and know howmuch information to share. When the meeting leader asks, “
That’s about it. Any questions?”, it might be an invitation to ask about anythingyou did not
understand. However, it might also be a ritual to end the meeting, and no response is expec
ted or appreciated, depending onyour organization’s culture. Knowing these cues and how
to respond to them comes with observation and experience.
New employees are often ambitious or eager to make an impression and may think that the
y will be judged negatively if they sit through ameeting without saying anything. To be usef
ul, however, contributions in meetings need to be thoughtful and relevant and have a stron
gfoundation (Wolgemuth, 2010). When you are in a meeting, be attentive and ask questions
when critical issues need clarification, but bewary of interjecting unless you have somethin
g important to add. In a new work environment, analyze the responses of others to determi
nethe type of response that is effective and appropriate in each situation. Some organizatio
ns encourage open and honest dialogue aboutissues; others do not. Knowing the expectatio
ns of your workplace will help you assess how to behave in meetings.
Interrupting others, embarrassing them, or focusing on issues that are relevant just to you i
n a meeting can also negatively affect yourprofessional reputation. It is crucial to support y
our boss and coworkers in public settings. Make sure your loyalty is thoughtful anddelibera
te, however, not just blind allegiance (Wolgemuth, 2010).
Job Satisfaction
Our professional success not only depends on how professional we are to others, but on ho
w we feel about our jobs. One way to assessyour perception of your job is via job satisfacti
on, which is your personal evaluation of how much you enjoy and are content with yourem
ployment situation (Wheeless, Wheeless, & Howard, 1984). Any number of factors can cont
ribute to how satisfied you are with your job,including the number of hours you work, the a
mount of money you make, and the number and type of job responsibilities you have. Inadd
ition, research has found that a major component of job satisfaction is the BPC in which you
take part, including both verbal andnonverbal messages. We explore how some of these m
essages are related to job satisfaction in the next sections.
Verbal Messages
What is said in business and professional settings can increase or decrease an employee’s j
ob satisfaction. In general, organizations thatstress open communication and that are willin
g to share information have more satisfied employees. In addition, communication between
superiors and subordinates is one major verbal communication contributor to subordinate
s’ job satisfaction. For example, Teven (2007)found that when supervisors used positive or
prosocial messages—
such as being friendly and showing that they like their subordinates—
to convey their power, subordinates were more satisfied than when antisocial power mess
ages, such as those that control or punish thesubordinate, were employed.
Conflict is also an influential element in the workplace (De Dreu, van Dierendonck, & Dijkst
ra, 2004). For example, unresolved conflict andhow it is expressed has an impact on the org
anizational climate (Hample & Allen, 2012) and is a major reason that employees leave thei
rjobs (Chen, Zhao, Liu, & Wu, 2012). The following lists specific research findings about em
ployee job satisfaction.
•
•
•
Job satisfaction is higher in companies that encourage employees to cooperate and collabor
ate in conflict situations (Choi, 2013).
Job satisfaction is lower in businesses where conflict is dealt with via active confrontation (
Choi, 2013).
Compromising when in conflict is positively related to job satisfaction (Chen et al., 2012).
•
•
•
•
Constructive conflict cultures may reduce employee burnout, making employees more satis
fied with their jobs (Choi, 2013).
Employees are less satisfied with their jobs in destructive conflict cultures, which may incr
ease employee burnout (Choi, 2013).
Employees with close friends at work have 50% higher job satisfaction (Rath, 2006).
Teamwork (as opposed to just collaboration or cooperation) promotes decreased turnover
and burnout in health and social careworkers (Kaiser, Patras, & Martinussen, 2018).
Based on these findings, how we verbally engage in conflict with our colleagues—
using positive, constructive messages versus negative,destructive ones—
is associated with job satisfaction.
Thomas Barwick/Stone/Getty Images
Nonverbal immediacy and chronemics are two specificnonverbal communication concepts
related to job satisfaction.
Nonverbal Messages
In addition to verbal communication, a variety of nonverbal messageshave been associated
with job satisfaction. Nonverbal immediacyinvolves a collection of specific nonverbal mes
sages such as eye contactand smiling that together increase your feelings of closeness with
anotherperson. We tend to be drawn to those who use nonverbal immediacy, andthis can c
ontribute to job satisfaction. For example, Teven (2007) foundthat when superiors commu
nicated higher nonverbal immediacy to theirsubordinates, the job satisfaction of subordina
tes increased. Superiorswho are viewed as nonverbally immediate by subordinates are also
seenas trustworthy, caring, and competent (Lybarger, Rancer, & Lin, 2017).
Time, or chronemics, is another nonverbal message that is related to jobsatisfaction. Dawna
Ballard and David Seibold (2006) found that multipleelements of time predicted employee
job satisfaction. Specifically,individuals with more of a future time focus, where future deve
lopmentsand longterm goals were emphasized, and employees with higherpunctuality experienced greater jo
b satisfaction. In contrast, employeeswho were expected to keep a faster pace were less sati
sfied with theirjobs. Together, time orientations combine to help employees feel as if they a
re capable of meeting the demands of their jobs, thuscontributing to their job satisfaction (
Ballard & Seibold, 2006). Ballard and Seibold (2004) also note that organizational members
createnorms for time through their interactions with one another. How flexible, fastpaced, formally scheduled, and precise time is perceived asbeing in a particular workplace i
s typically determined by the cultural norms of the organization. To maintain positive relati
onships at work,it is important to understand the cultural norms related to time as well as t
he meaning assigned to time by your boss and close coworkers.
7.2 Conversation Management
Connecting with other people is an integral part of life, and your ability to engage in everyd
ay conversations is crucial to your mental andphysical wellbeing and success. Some people are gregarious; they enjoy meeting people, getting to kno
w them, asking them questions, andexchanging information. However, other people have di
fficulty initiating a conversation with a stranger; they are shy; they get tongue-tied,selfconscious, or embarrassed in social situations; or they never know what to say when they h
ave to engage in conversation. As wediscussed in Chapter 5, these individuals may have co
mmunication apprehension or may be shy, introverted, or have an unwillingness tocommu
nicate. In this section, we examine the importance of everyday conversations when initiatin
g interpersonal relationships with others.
The Conversation Process
In every situation, there is a process we use to meet and engage in conversations with othe
rs. Let’s look at the main components in theconversation process.
Meeting People
The environment in which you live and work plays a major role in your chances of meeting
other people, which is the first necessary part ofthe conversation process. Early research o
n housing developments, for example, found that location matters in terms of who talked to
whom. Specifically, neighbors whose houses had adjacent driveways had more frequent co
nversations with one another than with peoplewhose driveways were farther away, and pe
ople whose houses were in the middle of the block tended to have more frequent contact w
ithother people on that block than those whose houses were at the end of the block (Whyte,
1956). Other researchers found that people wholived in apartments tended to have greater
social contact and more friendships with people in the same building and particularly from
theirsame floor. They also tended to converse with people whose doors faced theirs rather
than with those whose doors were next to theirs orsome distance away (Festinger, Schacht
er, & Back, 1963). In a more recent study, individuals who own dogs were found to spend m
ore timeoutside, be more recognizable to their neighbors, and serve as a source of conversa
tion (Power, 2013), thus decreasing their physicaldistance from others.
The reason for these results seems obvious: You tend to get to know the people you see or r
un into most often due to simple geographicproximity. However, meeting people can be reg
arded as a numbers game: You are more likely to meet other people if you put yourself insit
uations that allow you to interact with others. If you find it difficult to meet people, make a
n effort to seek out situations where you caninteract with others, be it in person or through
mediated channels. Engage in social activities, join colleagues in the break room, join a club,
or walk around your neighborhood. Despite the belief that Americans don’t know or trust t
heir neighbors anymore, research has foundthat most know at least some of the individuals
who live around them, and more than half say they would trust a neighbor with a key tothe
ir home (Parker et al., 2018). Thus, these geographically proximal conversations could pote
ntially be built upon and grown intointerpersonal relationships. If you prefer to interact wit
h others online, join an online group for a hobby or cause that interests you, orenlarge your
circle of friends on the social networking sites you already belong to.
Establishing Rapport
Once you meet someone, how do you improve your chances of making a favorable first imp
ression? The idiom breaking the ice describesthe second step in the conversation process: e
stablishing rapport. Having rapport with someone means that you connect or communicat
ewell and understand each other. In other words, rapport means that your interactions wit
h another person are smooth and harmonious(SpencerOatey, 2005) and that you likely achieve shared meaning. This initial rapport can be the fou
ndation upon which you can build aclose relationship. Rapport is also an important aspect
of building and maintaining satisfying relationships in the workplace, as it is anessential co
mponent of effective face-to-face business and professional interactions (Pullin, 2010).
As we mentioned earlier, we form first impressions of other people in less than a second. H
owever, psychiatrist Leonard Zunin (1986)argues that when we meet people, we have abou
t four minutes to establish rapport. He suggests that at a typical party, if the host or hostess
introduces two strangers, they will tend to converse for a minimum period—
on average, about four minutes—
before they decide tocontinue the conversation or to move on. If a relationship continues, it
is by mutual consent; if one person is unwilling, the potentialrelationship is lost for that m
oment. At the core of establishing rapport, says Zunin (1986), are four key principles:
•
•
•
•
Conveying confidence. Choosing not to exude confidence—
the belief that you can be successful or excel at something—
may create atemporary sympathy from the other person in the conversation, but most peo
ple do not respond favorably if they perceive the otherperson lacks confidence or is selfdemeaning or overly apologetic.
Being creative. Making contacts means finding ways to tune into the feelings of others. Hum
or may be used, but you can also noticeand comment on something interesting about the ot
her person, and using your strengths and interests can help you find ways ofinitiating conv
ersation with others.
Showing that you care. Asking appropriate questions about personal interests, giving your t
otal attention, and being a good listenershow the other person that you care. Indeed, Dale C
arnegie, author of the bestselling book How to Win Friends and Influence People,said, “You can make more friends in t
wo months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to g
etother people interested in you” (1990, p. 54).
Being considerate. Being sensitive and aware that you are relating to another unique indivi
dual is one way to show consideration.Zunin (1986) describes consideration best by saying
that some people we meet leave us feeling a little better about ourselves after wetalk with t
hem. Listening skills (which we address later in this chapter) are some of the most importa
nt ways in which you expressconsideration for other people—
by making good eye contact, appropriately smiling, being engaged with the other person, a
ndresponding with meaningful questions and comments. The feeling of consideration is thu
s a combination of the other three factors:confidence, creativity, and caring.
Andrew Hobbs/Photodisc/Thinkstock
When establishing rapport during the initial phase of aninteraction, we can use openended questions to encouragethe other person to share information.
Culture can help determine the best way to initiate a conversation. In theUnited States, for
example, a smile, a handshake, or a simple “hello” areways to initiate a conversation. The n
ext step is to ask a nonthreateningquestion, to comment about some element of the occasion or theenvironment i
n which the two of you are talking, or to listen carefully andto respond to what the other pe
rson says. For example, you might askgeneral questions such as, “Where are you from?” or “
Have you been inthis area long?” Questioning the other person is a useful strategy manypeo
ple employ because it allows them to avoid focusing on themselves,and it gives the other pe
rson the opportunity to share information. Whenyou ask a question or make a comment, sti
ck to facts rather than opinions,and focus on noncontroversial subjects. Try to use openendedquestions that ask who, what, where, when, why, and how. Such questionsrequire m
ore than a yes or no answer and encourage the other person totalk.
You might also use a technique called speech mirroring to help youestablish and build rap
port with another person. To do this, pay attentionto how the other person is speaking—
how fast and how loudly the persontalks and the pattern of give and take in the conversatio
n. Then try tosubtly match your speech with the pace and characteristics of the speechset b
y the other person. This technique can help both of you feel more comfortable with each ot
her.
The first two steps we have discussed will generally get you through the crucial first four m
inutes and avoid disagreement, during whichtime you and the other person will decide to e
nd the conversation or to continue. If you both desire to continue the conversation, you will
worry less about establishing and maintaining rapport from that point on. It should natural
ly unfold on its own.
Turn-Taking
An important but often overlooked aspect of the conversation process is turntaking. A conversation requires that both communicators actas speakers and as listeners, a
nd the transition between these two roles should occur fluidly and naturally. Recall from C
hapter 4 that weuse many nonverbal messages to regulate when each communicator takes
turns during an interaction, and a conversation is no different.Indeed, when one communic
ator dominates the interaction by speaking the majority of the time, it becomes less of a con
versation andmore of a monologue. Both individuals need to take turns for the conversatio
n to be maintained.
Listening
When you think of communicating, what words come to mind? Most likely the words speaki
ng, talking, and writing jump out right away; butwhat about listening? One of the most negl
ected interpersonal communication skills, and a core competency we must master, is listeni
ng. Listening is a complex psychological process of physically hearing, interpreting, and un
derstanding the significance of a sound (Hayes,1991). If you do not listen during an interact
ion, you cannot understand others, respond appropriately to what they say, or providefeed
back. Parents and teachers teach children to speak, read, and write, but very few people ha
ve had formal lessons about listening. Thisgap in education is particularly troubling becaus
e research shows that we engage in listening more than any other single form ofcommunica
tion activity. One study estimated that 45% of all communication time is spent listening, co
mpared with 30% speaking, 16%reading, and 9% writing (Hayes, 1991). Listening is also a
n important aspect of the conversation process.
Though most people think they are good listeners, studies show that the majority of people
listen poorly and inefficiently (Lee & Hatesohl,1993). Minimal training to build listening ski
lls is one possible explanation, but another reason is that people think faster than they cans
peak. Humans have the mental capacity to hear and understand words spoken at 400 to 50
0 words per minute; however, most peoplespeak at about 100 to 125 words per minute. W
hile someone is speaking to you, you have a great deal of extra time to let your mindwander
and to think of things other than what the speaker is saying.
We sometimes confuse hearing with listening. Listening involves hearing, but it is more tha
n just the physiological act of your earsperceiving a sound and transmitting the auditory se
nsation to your brain. As we learned earlier in this text, listening is essential to theprocess
of creating meaning (encoding) and attempting to discern the meaning that other people gi
ve to a message (decoding). Effectivelistening is important in all facets of interpersonal com
munication.
Learning how to be a more effective listener involves understanding a fivestep process: receiving, attending, interpreting, responding, andremembering. We explain e
ach stage below, using the example of trying to have a conversation with a family member f
rom the other side ofthe political spectrum about a particular political candidate.
The first stage in the listening process is receiving, which involves hearing what your conv
ersation partner is communicating. This can takeplace face-toface or over mediated channels, such as via videoconferencing or on a mobile phone or land
line. It thus involves the“technical” aspects of listening and can be hampered by communica
tion barriers such as the types of noise we discussed in Chapter 1,including hearing impair
ment, bad cellular connections, or environmental distractions such as other people talking
around you. Toapproach the political conversation with your family member, which you kn
ow will be touchy, you might create an environment that is quietand private to allow you b
oth to receive the messages you will communicate to one another to the best of your abilitie
s.
Attending is the second listening stage, and it means that you devote attention or consciou
s awareness to the messages you are decoding.In other words, focusing exclusively on the c
onversation and not participating in any other activities (that is, not multitasking) is optim
al forthe listening process. In fact, individuals who multitask habitually have trouble listeni
ng because they are unable to attend to the interaction(Carr, 2010). Nonverbal cues such as
making eye contact show that you are giving your conversation partner your full attention
(Orick,2002)—
as does putting down your phone and not looking at any other screens during the conversa
tion. So, when talking to your familymember about your political beliefs, give them your full
attention and show them you are doing so.
The third stage of listening is interpreting. In essence, you interpret what you have listene
d to when you understand what yourconversation partner has communicated by linking thi
s new information to your previous knowledge. You are making meaning in thislistening st
age. In this way, your own experiences and background become relevant to the interaction.
Elements of the self and your culturalbackground will be influential as you interpret what s
omeone is saying. As you and your family member discuss your political differences,you wil
l likely try to understand their perspective better by considering where they come from cul
turally and who they are as a person.How are they different from and similar to you? Are th
ey older, younger, or do they live in a different region of the country? You hope theyare taki
ng into account the same considerations.
The fourth listening stage is responding, where both conversation partners communicate t
hat they are attending to and interpreting oneanother’s messages. This can occur in two pri
mary ways. First, you can offer feedback, which is when you express attention andundersta
nding cues as you are listening. Feedback can be positive or negative, depending on how yo
u feel about what you are hearing.Examples include nodding, saying “uhhuh,” or shaking your head no, turning away, or pulling out your phone. Second, you can res
pondduring a conversation by paraphrasing after your partner has finished speaking, or re
stating what the other person has said in your ownwords, and then asking if you have captu
red their ideas correctly. In the family political conversation example, as you listen to why y
ourfamily member believes what they do about a particular political candidate, you can offe
r feedback by nodding or narrowing your eyes asyou are thinking through what they are sa
ying. Then, you respond by paraphrasing what they said (“Can I make sure that I have unde
rstoodwhat you have said correctly?”).
Finally, the fifth listening stage, remembering, involves how accurately you are able to rec
all the information you listened to after theconversation is over—
the extent to which you can remember it. Listening effectiveness is frequently assessed by
how well individuals canremember what they heard. Further, effective listeners are able to
accurately convey information to a third party, showing that they activelylistened to what t
he original speaker had communicated (Orick, 2002). Being able to accurately remember y
our political conversation withyour family member at a later date, especially the specifics o
f what they said, shows them that you were an active, respectful, and eagerparticipant in th
at interaction.
Your methods of meeting other people and engaging them in conversation are familiar to y
ou; for this reason, such patterns may be hard tochange, even if your behaviors are ineffecti
ve. Do you have difficulty walking up to strangers and talking with them? Do you think you
comeon too strong or are too talkative, or have you been told that you need to assert yours
elf more? Do you feel you need to sharpen yourconversational skills or want to feel more co
mfortable making small talk? Improving your conversational competency is not difficult; its
imply requires that you learn and use the above methods of making contact with other peo
ple—
striking up conversations with them,establishing a rapport, and learning to listen effectivel
y. (The IPC Research Applied feature addresses a specific communication challengewhen on
e or both of the partners are in the military.)
IPC Research Applied
Small Talk and Phatic Communication
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A final important component in the conversation process is the act of small talk (also know
n as phatic communication). Small talk isdefined as “the phase of conversation that follows
the exchange of greetings but precedes the discussion of more serious topics” (Knutson& A
yers, 1986, p. 5). Examples of small talk topics include the weather, current events, and com
ments about the event or environmentwhere the individuals are talking (for example, “This
restaurant is really nice. I hear they have a great shrimp cocktail”). Many people dislikesma
ll talk or view it only as a necessary (and sometimes even an unnecessary) evil in their conv
ersations with others. However, oneresearch study analyzed the conversations of 17 friend
ship pairs and determined that small talk has a number of important functions(Knutson &
Ayers, 1986). Namely, small talk serves as a conduit for
information exchange,
discussions about more intimate and serious topics,
relationship validation,
self-presentation in interactions with others, and
nonthreatening behaviors that help in killing time (Knutson & Ayers, 1986).
These functions of small talk show that it is not only an important way to transition to othe
r parts of the conversation, but it is also a keyform of communication in and of itself (Knuts
on & Ayers, 1986).
Small talk can also serve a purpose beyond its immediate functions in a twoperson conversation. For example, small talk is an importantmethod for building rapport, s
olidarity, and trust between work colleagues and is thus an essential gateway to effective b
usiness andprofessional interactions (Pullin, 2010). Specifically, in our culture, small talk in
organizational contexts can create a relaxing atmosphere,diffuse tensions and power differ
entials, and provide insight into the different views and backgrounds of employees. Patricia
Pullin (2010)thus recommends that companies value and create a space for small talk. In a
ddition, in initially identifying the importance of small talk inour communication with other
s, communication scholar Mark Knapp (1978) argued that small talk helps us maintain a se
nse of communityand fellowship with one another and thus helps build acceptance and soci
al cohesion. In this way, if a culture approves of small talk, itsmembers know that it is an ac
ceptable way to initiate a conversation with a stranger. Overall, despite its bad reputation, s
mall talk doespossess many benefits at the interpersonal, professional, and even societal le
vel. (See the Web Field Trip feature for a perspective on theimpact of technology on connect
ing with others.)
Web Field Trip
Short Answer Assignment
Name: ______________
Date: ____________
Answer the following three questions using 300 to 350 words for each response. Each question is worth
10% of your overall grade and there is additional scoring for proper grammar and citations for a total of 7
points. You must use course material to support your work, with full APA citations, to earn the most
points. Please be sure to double-space the document. You will score few to no points for not using course
material. Be sure to include a reference list at the end. Finally, don’t forget to ensure you’ve covered
ALL ELEMENTS of each question.
1) Explain one way one can alter your verbal and one way you can alter your nonverbal communication to
enhance their job satisfaction at work, using and citing Bevan (Section 6.2). Then, discuss how following
these guidelines could help you or some hypothetical worker to be more satisfied at work.
2) In section 7.2, Bevan discuss many elements of conversation management. Here you will address
establishing rapport specifically by doing the following:
A) Explain what rapport is and why it matters.
B) Define and describe one of the first three principles building rapport – confidence, creativity, or caring.
C) Share an example to illustrate how one of the principles can enhance either a personal or professional
relationship.
3) Self-disclosure is an important part of relationship-building and maintenance and is also important for
self-awareness and mental health. To demonstrate understanding of this topic, please do the following:
1) Define self-disclosure, using and citing Bevan.
2) Explain at least two of the rewards of self-disclosure (e.g better self-understanding and personal
mental health and building and maintaining meaningful relationships).
3) Explain at least two of the risks of self-disclosure.
4) As an activity, share something personal that is going on in your life with a friend or co-worker
face-to-face. Then, share this same information with someone else via electronic communication
(e.g. email, text, or social media). What were the differences between the experience of sharing
information and receiving the response in person versus electronically? Discuss both the verbal
and/or nonverbal cues you observed in both yourself and the other party.
References