UF Differentiating Termination And Circumscribing In Love Life Essay

choose 2-3 concepts and analyze them in some real love relationships. need examples. don’t need references.

1. All emotions are accompanied by physiological arousal
Example:
Increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, increased brain temperature
2. Physiological arousal is typically experienced as uncomfortable
3. People are motivated to explain physiological arousal
4. Cues from the environment are used to
explain physiological arousal
– Sometimes the “causes” seem obvious
Examples:
For a person with fear of spiders, they will attribute arousal to the presence of a spider
A person with stage fright will attribute the physiological arousal to the speaking situation
– Sometimes the causes are ambiguous
Example:
Guessing that arousal might be due to too much coffee
5. Implications of the Model
A. The experience of a specific emotion requires the presence of physiological
arousal interpreted as the manifestation of a particular emotion.
B. Schachters and Singer’s classic experiment
1. People who were uncertain whether they were afraid of snakes were divided into four
groups
a. Group 1 was given epinephrine and seated in a room with a snake on the table
b. Group 2 was given epinephrine seated in a room without a snake
c. Group 3 was not given any epinephrine but was seated in a room with a snake on the table
d. Group 4 was not given any epinephrine and was seated in a room without a snake
Study Results
Snake
No snake
Epinephrine
Fear
Anxious but no fear
No Epinephrine
No response in genetics
No response
Implications for Romantic Love
A. Over the past fifty years, the two- component model has emerged as the
principal conceptualization of romantic love.
B. Research indicates the following
Positive Traits
Negative Traits
Physiological arousal
Romantic Love
Negative Reaction
No arousal
Potential friend
Indifference
Continued next slide ->
C. Traits
1. Physical attractiveness
2. Composure
3. Successful
4. Aspirational
5. Intelligent
6. Competent Communicator
7. Character
D. Sources of Physiological Arousal
1. Social facilitation- presence of strangers
2. Novelty
3. Physical threat
4. Ego- threat (example: rejection)
5. Euphoric or excitement
6. Chemical induced states
Initiating
• First impressions
• Opening tactics to start interaction
• Small talk
• Initial reactions (sizing up other as potential partner)
Experimenting
• Move small talk, some probing
• Testing potential a bit more
• Audition for future relationship
Intensifying
• Make willingness to escalate the relationship clear
• Attempt to set up another meeting
– Move to another location, or move to immediate hookup – “want to get out of here”
Integrating
• Achieve a sense of coupling / we can talk about anything
• Develop a sense of “we-ness”
• Start to think and act as a unit
Example: finish each other’s sentences
• Tell stories as a couple
• Begin to know what the other expects/enjoys/dislikes
• Need to check in with the other
• Assume you will see each other on the weekend
• Turn down offers from others- “I’m seeing someone”
• Staying over at night
• High level of sexual activity
• Makeup sex weakens minor conflicts
• Gifts and flowers work as apologies
Bonding – Final Stage of Growth
• Some form of public commitment (Traditionally, Marriage, but could simply
be moving in together)
• Usually involves a dramatic ritual or ceremony
• Engagement ring typically bridges intensifying and bonding together
Differentiating
• Individuals feel overwhelmed by loss of identity
• Psychological backlash due to bipolar forces
– Autonomy vs. Connection
– Novelty vs. familiarity
– Closedness vs. openness (Julia T. Wood)
– Spontaneity vs. predictability
– Control vs. submission
– Change vs. stability (Schultz)
Continued on next slide ->
• Increasing time with friends and family
• Start to see some minor disagreements
• Some of the other’s uniqueness begins to annoy
• In response to complaints, partner says, “You knew I did this when you
married” to which other partner says, “I thought you would grow up.”
• The arousal is dwindling
• Sexual activity dwindles – after 2 years of marriage, frequency decreases to
once every 15-20 days on average (less often with children)
• Gifts and flowers no longer work
Circumscribing
• Communication becomes restricted
Example: Some topics are off limits
• One partner cuts off the other
• Men typically withdraw, becoming unresponsive, focusing on television or
online or use anger to create distance
• When asked what’s wrong, women say “nothing”
• Talking to others about relationship problem rather than with our partner
• Collect evidence to assign blame
• Talk to each other through children
• Conflict becomes passive aggressive if not overly aggressive
Stagnation
• Relationship seems to be in limbo
• Talking about it becomes “taboo” because we’re tired on the same old
arguments
• We think we know exactly how the conversation will go
• Dinners are boring, nothing to say
• Apprehension about initiating intimacy, afraid of rejection, seems awkward
Avoiding
• Go out of our way to avoid each other
Example: sleep in separate bedrooms, work late, etc.
• Must do things with couples to fill in dead air space
• Schedules keep partners apart
Termination
• Makes it clear, it’s over
– Sudden death vs. passing away