Communications Question

Interpersonal Conflict Situation:

Paulo and Julie are long term partners who are engaged in serial arguing about a goal conflict focused on their finances. Julie believes Paulo spends too much money on his expensive hobby of collecting signed sports memorabilia. Julie has strong emotional reactions to Paulo’s continued use of criticism about how she doesn’t understand how important this hobby is to him, how he values his collection, and how this collection will be worth a lot of money someday. Julie keeps telling Paulo he just doesn’t understand her and how she never played sports growing up and doesn’t know anything about these sports. Julie also believes Paulo is using indirect aggression when he talks to her about the money these signed sports memorabilia cost and insinuates she just “doesn’t get it” because she “is such a girl.” Paulo tells her he is older and wiser, and she needs to trust him. Paulo is angry that Julie recently brought up this argument with him while they were at his best friend’s backyard barbeque party. Julie ended up leaving the party without Paulo. As soon as Paulo got home, he told Julie he wanted to take advantage of a big sale of signed sports memorabilia coming up, which his friend assured him almost no one knows about. Paulo kept asking Julie to “just listen.”

Essay Question and Directions

Analyze this interpersonal conflict by identifying evidence of the conflict management styles being used and explaining if these conflict management styles were effective or not and why. What are two strategies for managing and expressing emotions Paulo and Julie could use when they become emotional or aggressive in this interpersonal conversation? What strategies or skills could Julie and Paulo use, individually and together, to reduce the pattern of serial arguing and the trigger of criticism? What active listening techniques could Julie and Paulo use to stay in the role of the listener when the other person is talking? How can Julie and Paulo make communication decisions to use a conflict management style that will help them examine their beliefs and values about money and finances and begin to resolve the conflict and reduce or stop the cycle of arguing?