Rewrite Email in relevant detailed version

Oras-OM-110315-habbuah Comm-3948Module 4.1: Direct Approach
hmma, latte, or mails, you have to organize your iting so that it efficiently communicates your message.
Usually, the direct approach is most effective
The Direct Approach
In the direct approach, you present your main ida finst.
Main Ida First: To save time and prioritize, business readers Bually want to to know your mam point
immediately, so explain your purpose for writing in the first few linato la them know why they should keep
reading
The textbook divides common message types into requests and replies:
Request for infomation or reader action should begin with the mam ida that the writer is
communicating to the reader — a brief statement of the request.
• Replies answer requests for information or action. Always include a clear and specific subject line, and
open by reminding the nder of their onginal request to you. Openings might include: “As you
requested… , or “In response to your request…”. If the requester wrote several people or some time ago,
they may not immediately remember why they wrote to you.
Now, please review the Direct replies and Direct requests in Chapter 7.
Details Follow: The middle paragraphs provide specific details, facts, and figures, and develop the idea further.
EDRUTE
you provide all the details the reader needs to understand your message and to make an approprale
dison. Prioritize details and present the most important ones fint.
Use graphic highlighting, such as lsts, headings, dle., lo emphasize important information. Make your document
casy lo scan, but don’t just nole ideas in point form. Most paragraphs should offer thoughts in complete,
coherent senlences, and lists should have a proper laad-mm.
Finally, Action: This last paragraph describes the next step to be taken by the reader. If you want a specific
aclion laken, sale exactly what thal action s. when il needs to be done and why. People are more likely to
comply if giyen a deadline and logical reasons for the deadline and or aclion, cwciath of those asons are
benefits to them (yes, the “you approach” again!).
If you don’t require your radar lo lake spccilic aclion. You can linish with an invitation for feedback or
questions. The Concillonal endings aren’l required, but provide closure and convenient contact information
for questions or clarification
Personalize your ending wah specific details. Den I use a senene closing expression. Avoid cliched, over used.
or old-fashioned phrases like “leel free”. or “at your earliest contenience”.
• “Please contact me at youmame u email.com or (123) 156 7890 if you have any questions about the
implementation of Project X.”
• “Please contact me belore our next project mecting on Friday if you have any proposed changes to this
bude et or need further detail
• “I would appreciate your lucdback holere our nest project meetme on September S. I will call you next
week la arme a meeting
SHERAPEUTA!
ASSIGNMENT #3: EMAIL MEMO Weight: 15%
Now, working on your own, you will get a chance to practice the basic business communication skills we have covered so far. Use all the techniques leamed so far
in this course to write a clear, professional message.
• Use the writing process: Think about your audience and their questions/needs, then plan and write a draft. Then take 30 minutes to 1 hour to revise and proofread,
ensuring your work demonstrates your understanding of the content we’ve covered in the course so far.
o In your Word document, include a “header” at the top with the fields your email program creates for you (To:, From:, Date:, Subject:, CC:, Attachment). For
readability, use a direct opening with the “Main Idea First”. Also, be concise, and use at least one list (bullets), headings, and white space as “reader access
techniques”.
. Include a closing (e.g., “Thank you,” “Sincerely,” “Best regards, “) and your name and “signature” (usually your name plus your position department and
possibly your contact info beneath) under your final “action paragraph”.
Task: Write the email asked for on page 162 of your textbook, Question 6-40. Email Skills: Sustainability / Media Skills: Email. Write the message called for in the
situation described, using reader-focused language and a professional tone.
• Make up any details necessary, as long as they are consistent with this case; use your own words and include the relevant details.
• Save your document as a Word document and include your name and the assignment number in the file name.
If you want to ensure you use the “direct approach” correctly, you can use this form (below) to plan your message – but do not hand this plan sheet in, please.
OPTIONAL PLAN SHEET FOR DIRECT MESSAGES
1. Result = Reader + Purpose: What do I want my reader to do?
I want my reader, who is
1. Opening Main Idea: Tum #1 into your opening sentence(s):
1. Details in Middle Paragraphs: What questions will my readers want answered and in what order? Use a separate paragraph for each main idea.
2.
3.
4.
1. Ending Paragraphs: Next step? Deadline? Contact Me? Re-State Idea? Other? (be specific)
10112010
Candan – HTMLE
Module 4.2: Message Format: Email and Memo
Communications sent within a company (or intamal messages) me read by “inside who share a corporate
culture and who know each other to varying degrees. (Generally, emails sent within the company are more like
memos, and those sent oulside the company are more like lattens).
For these reasons, memos and intel emails tend to communicate day-to-day events and concers and be less
formal than lettes. However, the formality varies greatly depending upon the relationship between the sendar
and the intended reader(s).
The written communication record, even if informal in tone, is offical (and even considered as legal contract or
evidence). A message might be read again weeks, months or even years later. Written messages establish a
record of responsibility, in both good circumstances and bad. Occasionally you may even write a message to
protect your own interests, for example, to document decisions reached at a meeting, or record your work
accomplishments.
Standard Message Elements
These standard elements are relevant to both memox and emaik, Emails are oflen shorter than memos,
emails usually have a name (“signature”) at the bottom, but many things about the two message lypes are the
However, specific lips for paper memos are listed at the end under cach element.
To” and “from” Lines: Busy readers use the recipient (not always the reader) and sender information to
decide if they need to read the message and when. Many people will assume if they are only copied (ec:ed) on a
message, it will not be as important to them.
For memus, follow conventions in your organization regarding including titles or positions in address lmes.
Date: The dale leis the reader know how current the information is, and or can indicate if it’s the information
they’re looking for.
Subject Line: Make your subject line as specific, detailed, and descriptive as possible. The subject line should
immediately and clearly summanze the message’s contents. The subject helps the readers decide how important
the message is to them, and whether they need to read it and how urgently. A vague or msleading subject may
mean that your message is not even Fuad.
The subject line is like a headline: 11 should be a phras, not a complele senten_c. and will usually be ó lo N
word le s.. “Het Completne repur to SW1-21.1 by Friday’s deudlınc”). Too low, or ambiguous.
words are useless and potentially misleading ich.. “REPAIRS”).
To create an accurate subiect line, write it last. to ensure that it accurately sums up the message topic.
For memo, your subject line must be formatted to noticeably stand out from the body text and large enough to
clearly determine the memo’s contents al 21 glance,
Attachments: Mention (refer to any attachments in the message body to describe them briefly, and explain why
you are meludmg them to help your audience decide whether to review them
In 11 memo. a nation at the bottom luce textbook examples ulls recipients what additonal material is attached
w they look for 11. – 4.. “Allached: 2 ruceipts” or “Attachment 2 receipts.”
but end of
To: b.lipsey @airwest.ca
CC:
Subject: Congratulations on Your Financing
Hello Ben,
I Just heard from Vivian Albers that you and your partners received full funding
from San Marino Capital. Congratulations!
Although we passed on your presentation earlier this year, I was convinced that
your unique business model and solid management team were worthy of first-
round financing from an investment group with the right mix of connections and
experience. I’ve known Vivian and her colleagues at San Marino for more than
twenty years, so I can speak from experience when I say you have joined forces
with one of the best firms in the business.
I wish you all the best as you move toward your initial product launch.
Sincerely,
Roger DeCairn
DeCairn & Smythe
(403) 555-2379
www.dsivestors.biz
[162] PART 3: BRIEF BUSINESS MESSAGES
FIGURE 7.8 A Goodwill Message
To: b.lipsey @airwest.ca
CC:
Subject: Congratulations on Your Financing
Hello Ben,
I Just heard from Vivian Albers that you and your partners received full funding
from San Marino Capital. Congratulations!
Opens with a positive
and sincere expression
of congratulations
Reminds the recipient
of their previous meeting
and offers specific points
about the recipient’s
worthiness in a way that
compliments without
exaggerating
Closes on an upbeat
note that keeps the
focus on the recipient
Although we passed on your presentation earlier this year, I was convinced that
your unique business model and solid management team were worthy of first-
round financing from an investment group with the right mix of connections and
experience. Ive known Vivian and her colleagues at San Marino for more than
twenty years, so I can speak from experience when I say you have joined forces
with one of the best firms in the business.
I wish you all the best as you move toward your initial product launch.
Sincerely,
Roger De Cairn
De Caim & Smythe
(403) 555-2379
www.dsivestors.biz