USC Hybrid High School Communications Question

Intimate Relationships and ConflictsRelational Maintenance and Conflict Management
1. According to week-3 lecture power point presentation, most intimate relationship developed through
five different stages: initiation, experimentation, intensification, integration, and finally bonding stage.
I decided to interview my close friend and co-work, Mckenzie aka Kenzie on how he and his wife
developed their relationship. Kenzie is African American with a Bahamas background while his wife is
Colombian, who migrated to Italy, where they initially met. According to Kenzie, his wife’s mother
was the one who actually introduced them and was very engaged in making sure their relationship
kicked off. This made me think of arranged marriages, Floyd (2020) wrote on this,
In much of the world, however, it is common for other people—usually parents—to select a person’s
romantic partner. According to the practice of arranged marriage (which is most common in the Middle
East and other parts of Asia and Africa), people are expected to marry the partner their parents select
for them. (p. 328).
I do tease Kenzie about this at times, but he assured me that he married his wife purely because he
loved her, and not because of any other external pressures from his now mother in law. Therefore, I
believe it is safe to say that Kenzie initiation stage was highly influenced by his wife’s mother, but they
individually developed their relationship through the other stages until they got to the bonding stage,
where they decided to get married.
According to Kenzie, they have a traditional marriage where the roles within their m arriage follows the
traditional flow of things, where he is the breadwinner and she is the homemaker. Floyd wrote,
Traditional couples take a culturally conventional approach to marriage. They believe in gender -typical
divisions of labor in which wives are in charge of housework and childrearing and husbands are
responsible for home repair and auto maintenance. When conflict arises, spouses in traditional couples
engage in it rather than avoid it. (p. 332).
Although Kenzie and his wife have a traditional relationship, from my perspective, their conflict
resolution is that of a mixed couple. Kenzie normally avoids conflicts whereas his wife like to engage
in it directly. In terms of conflict resolution, Kenzie falls under separate couples’ pattern whereas hi s
wife falls under traditional couples’ pattern, therefore making them a mixed couple. (Floyd, 2020, p.
331-333).
2. I did interview my co-worker and close friend called Mckenzie aka Kenzie. Kenzie is a very softspoken individual who tends to appear as closed off at first, but is extremely upbeat and lively once you
get to know him. On the other hand, his wife is quite out spoken and more interactive from the very
start. They are almost polar opposite of each other. Kenzie does not like conflict, whereas his wife does
not shy away from an argument at all. This is why I refer to them as a mixed couple, not only because
Kenzie is African American and his wife is Colombian, but also because Kenzie tends to be more
separate couple minded where he avoids conflicts and his wife tends to be more traditional couple
minded, where she rather engage in a conflict directly. (Floyd, 2020, p. 331 -333).
In terms of maintain peace in their relationship, I would say Kenzie is the placater, as he would do
anything to maintain the peace in their relationship. Floyd (2020) emphasized on this notion when he
wrote, “A second role is the placater, the peacemaker who will go to any lengths to reduce conflict.
That person may simply agree with whatever anyone says to keep others from ge tting angry.” (p. 340).
Whereas his wife is the blamer, who almost at all times tries to blame everything on Kenzie and very
solemnly accepts responsibility for any wrongdoing. Floyd (2020) also added, “The first role is the
blamer, who holds others responsible for whatever goes wrong but accepts no responsibility for his or
her own behaviors.” (p. 340).
I believe that both Kenzie and his wife would benefit from acknowledging their own actions that leads
to conflicts, and be honest in their communication in order to reach a collaborative decision. It is my
firm affirmation that collaborative conflict resolution is the ideal method of managing conflict while
enhancing relational maintenance. Floyd (2020) wrote, “The collaborating style represents a high
concern for both your partner’s needs and your own. The goal is to arrive at a win –win situation that
maximizes both parties’ gains.” (p. 380).
3. Meet John and Sarah. They have been together for two years and are deeply in love. They met through
mutual friends at a party and hit it off immediately. John was drawn to Sarah’s intelligence and sense of
humor, while Sarah was impressed by John’s kindness and adventurous spirit.
According to John, the key to their strong relationship is communication. “We always make time to talk
to each other and really listen to what the other person is saying,” he says. “Even if we don’t always
agree, we respect each other’s opinions and work together to find a solution.”
Sarah agrees, adding that trust is also a crucial element of their relationship. “We both have busy lives
and careers, but we always make sure to prioritize each other,” she says. “We know that we can count
on each other no matter what, and that’s a really special feeling.”
Despite their challenges, including a long-distance period when John had to move for work, the couple
remains committed to each other and their future together. “We have big plans for our future, and we
know that we can achieve anything as long as we’re together,” says John.
Interpersonal communication in a romantic relationship can be characterized by several key elements,
including:
•
Openness and honesty: Partners in a healthy relationship are able to communicate openly and honestly
with each other, sharing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment or rejection.
•
Active listening: Effective communication requires not only speaking honestly but also actively
listening to your partner. This means giving them your full attention, asking questions to clarify their
meaning, and empathizing with their perspective.
•
Mutual respect: Healthy communication is built on a foundation of mutual respect, where each partner
values the other’s thoughts, feelings, and opinions.
•
Supportive feedback: Partners in a healthy relationship provide supportive feedback to each other,
offering encouragement and constructive criticism when needed.
•
Shared understanding: Effective communication requires a shared understanding of each other’s needs,
expectations, and boundaries.
Overall, healthy interpersonal communication in a romantic relationship is characterized by mutual
respect, empathy, and openness, which help build trust and deepen the emotional connection between
partners.
Handling conflict in a romantic relationship can be challenging:
•
Communication: Effective communication is key to resolving conflicts in a relationship. Couples who
are able to express their thoughts and feelings in a calm and respectful manner are more likely to find a
resolution that works for both partners.
•
Active listening: Active listening is an important component of effective communication. This means
giving your partner your full attention, asking questions to clarify.
4. In what ways can their relational maintenance be enhanced?
•
•
•
•
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Quality time: Spending quality time together is essential for maintaining a strong relationship. This can
include date nights, weekend getaways, or simply spending time together at home.
Communication: Effective communication is key to resolving conflicts and maintaining a strong
relationship. Couples should continue to communicate openly and honestly with each other, sharing
their thoughts, feelings, and concerns.
Shared experiences: Creating shared experiences can help deepen the emotional connection between
partners. This can include trying new activities together, traveling, or volunteering for a common
cause.
In what ways can their conflict management strategies be enhanced?
Active listening: Active listening is an important component of effective conflict management. This
means giving your partner your full attention, asking questions to clarify their perspective, and
empathizing with their feelings.
Empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand and share your partner’s feelings. By putting yourself in
their shoes, you can better understand their perspective and work together.
5. For my post, I decided to interview a couple that is close friends of mine, and they have been married
since March 2006. They met in Okinawa after he got back from deployment. He told me that he worked
in a warehouse right beside hers. He further told me that he immediately had a crush the first time he
saw her. The warehouse she worked in built wooden boxes used to store the parts in his warehouse and
other surrounding warehouses. He laughed a little when he told me that he started to “accidentally”
damage the boxes so that he could see her when he took them to be repaired. He stated he was very shy
around her but eventually found the courage to ask her out on a date. She accepted his request, and after
a little over a year of dating, they married.
Through my years of knowing them and seeing how they interact with each other, I would say they are
a traditional couple. Their physical attraction to each other is powerful. You can see this by the way
they look at each other. I went to their house one night for dinner, and I got to observe how they
worked in unison in the kitchen. They both love to cook, so when one is cooking, the other is doing
what they can to assist. It seems silly, but it was almost like watching a play they had rehearsed for
years. Which, in reality, they have been.
They told me one thing that makes sense. They said they continually try to impress each other. They
use each other’s drive and motivation to push each other. They go to the gym together, laugh, and joke
about off-the-wall things. They have their form of symbolic convergence. They use all the forms of
maintenance strategies that we have learned about. Positivity is high on their priority list. Affinity seeking and openness also seem to be very important to them. All these things I can see when they are
all together.
It seems they have their marriage and communication skills worked out perfectly. Even when it comes
to conflict resolution, they have a system of attacking the issue. They use the ideology of; it’s not you
versus me; it’s us versus the problem. They figure out what the problem is and what is the root of that
problem. They then come up with a way to fix the problem that’s causing the issue. Some problems are
much more complex than others, but the system remains the same.
6. I will be honest when I say I didn’t see many problems with their marriage. They have been together for
over 17 years and seem to have everything worked out perfectly. Anyone in their right m ind would say
that that is unreasonable. That said, they did tell me that when they first started living together, they
had some significant issues learning how to coexist. He would leave clothes on the floor, dishes in the
sink, etc. She was a very neat and clean person who liked to have their apartment not look sloppy.
When she would get upset about this and say something to him about it, he would get upset and tell her
she nagged about everything. She would come back and say she was asking for some help. They both
worked, and she just wanted him to assist her. He claimed that he sometimes didn’t feel like he could do
anything right. She also stated that she would second-guess the relationship at times.
It seemed to me that this period of redefining the relationship was pretty difficult for both of them. It
was pretty clear they were in the deterioration phase at this time. One day after they had gotten into a
pretty big argument, they both decided to seek counseling. It was through the counseling that his eyes
were opened to the error of his ways. They were both adamant about saving the relationship, which is
very important in the long run. Both parties need to be sure about what they want in the long term. He
told me that going to counseling was the best thing they ever did. If they have issues now, they talk
through the problem and find the best solution possible. They leave all emotions out and come to a
resolution.