write an indirect strategy memo

PERSUASIVE MESSAGES PT. 2(AND ALSO PARAPHRASING AND
MODIFIERS)
Misplaced
Modifiers
Summary
Modifiers
Modifiers are
words that
describe other
words. Modifiers
should directly
precede or follow
the words they
describe.
•
•
Misplaced
Modifiers
Summary
•
What is it?
– A misplaced or dangling modifier is a phrase that is
not located properly in relation to the words they
modify.
How do we catchit?
– Check for words that add description to the sentence
and make sure they are adding description to the
right word, phrase or clause
How do we fix it?
– Rewrite the sentence so that you place modifiers as
close as possible to the word, phrase or clause they
modify
– Watch out for –ing modifiers thataren’t logically
connected to the main part of the sentence
(dangling)
• State the subject immediately following the
modifier
• Add the subject to the danglingphrase
Identify the
Modifier. Revise
the sentence so
that the modifier
clearly modifies
the correct noun
• Henry wants to learn to speak Frenchbadly
• The ambulance took the victim to ahospital
with a brokenleg
• Susan worked long hours to put
herself through college as a salesclerk
• Flying overhead, the hunter shot at agoose
What is the
difference
between
these two?
As an economics major, my
microeconomics report will
be about supply and demand.
As an economics major, I will
be writing about supply and
demand for my
microeconomics report.
More examples of dangling modifiers andtheir
revisions:
• INCORRECT: After reading the original study, the article remainsunconvincing.
• REVISED: After reading the original study, I find the article unconvincing.
• INCORRECT: Relieved ofyour responsibilities at your job, your home should be
a place to relax.
• REVISED: Relieved ofyour responsibilities at your job, you should be able to
relax at home.
• INCORRECT: The experiment was a failure, not having studied the lab manual
carefully.
• REVISED: They failed the experiment, not having studied thelab manual
carefully.
https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/597/01/
•Exercises on Modifiers:
http://www.chompchomp.com/exercis
es.htm
Review:
Modifiers
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/gram
mar/cgi-shl/quiz.pl/modifier_quiz.htm
http://aliscot.com/bigdog/dmmm_exer
cise.htm
PARAPHRASING
Paraphrasing and Summarizing
✓ Paraphrasing involves putting a passage from source
material into your own words. A paraphrase must also be
attributed to the original source. Paraphrased material is
usually shorter than the original passage, taking a
somewhat broader segment of the source and condensing
it slightly.
✓ Summarizing involves putting the main idea(s) into your
own words, including only the main point(s). Once again, it
is necessary to attribute summarized ideas to the original
source. Summaries are significantly shorter than the
original and take a broad overview of the source material.
Paraphrase Process (Prewriting)
✓ Read the original passage as many times as you need to
✓
✓
✓
✓
✓
in order to understand it thoroughly.
Set it aside and write your paraphrase.
Check your paraphrase against the original to make sure
you have accurately expressed the original’s meaning.
Avoid repeating the grammatical structure of the original.
Record the source (author, title, page) for future use.
Keep notes about to how you expect to use this
paraphrase.
Paraphrase
What is wrong with this paraphrase?
Paraphrase
HomeAway is easy to use because you can book online
and your pay is secure. There is a “Request to book”
button that allows you to submit a request. Owners will
get back to you in 24 hours. It is best to pay through
HomeAway checkout to get the Book with Confidence
Guarantee.
Signal phrases
✓
Author
Signal phrase should include author (if
available), title, and place of publication (website,
magazine, newspaper, etc.)
Signal
phrase
paraphrase
Place of
publication
Ex: An article by Meghan Groff published in
. Halifax Today says that a strong majority of
Haligonians support banning plastic shopping
bags.
In-class writing
Original Quotation:
✓ “Students frequently overuse direct quotation in taking notes, and as a
result they overuse quotations in the final [research] paper. Probably
only about 10% of your final manuscript should appear as directly
quoted matter. Therefore, you should strive to limit the amount of exact
transcribing of source materials while taking notes.”
Source:
✓ Lester, James D. Writing Research Papers. 2nd ed., 1976, pp. 46-47.
Instructions:
✓ Read the original passage as many times as you need to in order to understand it
thoroughly.
✓ Write your paraphrase. Include a signal phrase.
✓ Check your paraphrase against the original to make sure you have accurately
expressed the original’s meaning.
Pair and share. Review your partner’s
paraphrase. Compare it against the
original. Discuss the similarities and
difference in what you included.
“Students frequently overuse direct quotation in taking
notes, and as a result they overuse quotations in the
final [research] paper. Probably only about 10% of your
final manuscript should appear as directly quoted
matter. Therefore, you should strive to limit the amount
of exact transcribing of source materials while taking
notes.”
Check your work!
✓D i d you…
✓Introduce
your paraphrase
with a signal phrase (including
author if available, title, and
place of publication)?
✓G e t across the main point of
the original without plagiarising?
Acceptable paraphrase (after signal phrase):
✓ In Writing Research Papers, James Lester says that students
often quote excessively in research papers, failing to keep
quoted material down to a desirable level. Since the problem
usually originates during note taking, it is essential to minimize
the material directly recorded.
Unacceptable:
✓ In Writing Research Papers, James Lester says that students
often use too many direct quotations when they takenotes,
resulting in too many of them in the final research paper. In fact,
probably only about 10% of the final copy should consist of
directly quoted material. So it is important to limit the amount of
source material copied while taking notes.
Direct vs. Indirect Strategy
Copyright © 2016 by Nelson Education Ltd.
Applying the Four-Part AIDAStrategy
Forbes: How To Use The AIDA Formula ToBoost Your Content Marketing Strategy
Four-Part AIDAStrategy
Attention
Gain the audience’s attention by
opening with one of thefollowing:
• Identify a Problem
• Reader benefit
• Related facts
• Stimulating question
(not one that can be
answered ‘yes’ or ‘no’)
*If you ask a question, you’d better answer it in
the next paragraph.
Attention
• Use the indirect strategy rather than
blurting out the requestimmediately.
– Your request should not be given away
in the opening or the subjectline!
• The indirect strategy is appropriate
for business messages that request
favours and actions.
• Opening should be brief (one or two
sentences).
Attention
Analyzing Persuasive Openings
How persuasive is the following opening(favour
request)?
Hi! My name is Joey (Josephine) Jones, and I have been
entrusted with the important job of finding someone to
speak before a large gathering of our sales
representatives. I realize that three days is very short
notice for this kind of request, but would you perhaps be
interested in this speakingengagement?
Analyzing Persuasive Openings
How persuasive is the following opening (favour
request)?
While I understand how busy you must be, I have
no choice but to ask you fora really big favour.
Analyzing Persuasive Openings
How persuasive is the following opening (sales
letter)?
Hi! My name is Kevin. Maybe you haven’t heard
of my company, Picture Perfect, but I think you’d
be amazed by our new line of digital cameras.
Analyzing Persuasive Openings
How persuasive is the following opening (sales
letter)?
We take such great pride in our engineering that
we know you won’t be able to resist our new line
of home appliances.
Analyzing Persuasive Openings
How persuasive is the following opening (sales
letter)?
Are you tired of waiting precious minutes to
download Internet files?
Four-Part AIDAStrategy
Interest
Build audience interest by using the
following:
• Facts, figures
• Expert opinions
• Examples
• Specific details
Don’t reveal the
purpose of your
message!
Build Interest
Interest
• Establish your credibility, if necessary,
by explaining your background and
expertise.
• Tie facts to direct andindirect
benefits.
Don’t reveal the
purpose of your
message!
Subject Phrase/Request
✓State your request at the end of the interest
paragraph or the beginning of the desire
paragraph.
Four-Part AIDAStrategy
Elicit desire by doing the following:
• Direct benefits
• Indirect benefits
• Reducing resistance
• Anticipating objections
• Offering counterarguments
Desire
Direct benefit
Direct and IndirectBenefits
If you accept our invitation to speak,
you will have an audience of 50
potential customers for your products.
Indirect benefit
Your appearance would prove your
professionalism and make us grateful
for your willingness to give something
back to our field.
Desire
Create Desire
Desire
• Minimize objections and provide
counter-arguments.
• Establish credibility and expertise.
• Emphasize benefits; suggest what
might be lost if the request is not
granted.
• In requesting favours or making
recommendations, show how the
receiver or others will benefit.
How to ReduceResistance
• Counter resistance with finesse
• Minimize objections by presenting your counterargumentsin
sentences that emphasize benefits.
– E.g. “Completing the extra grammar and style practice (found on the
green pages of the course pack) will take up valuable time, but the
additional practice will improve your performance on the exam.
Moreover, your improved writing will benefit you in more classes
than just COMM2293.”
– E.g. “Ceramic dishes may require a little more effort incleaning, but
they bring warmth to meals. Most important, they help save the
environment by requiring fewer resources and eliminatingwaste.”
• Don’t bring up objections that aren’t likely to have occurred to
the receiver in the first place.
How to ReduceResistance
Example
Although your gift to Neonatal Care Centre is not taxdeductible, you would help us purchase one Intensive Care
Ventilator. Because of your contribution, this unit wouldbe
put to use immediately in caring for critically ill and
premature newborn infants.
Four-Part AIDAStrategy
Prompt action by doing the following:
• Describing specific request
• Sounding confident
• Making action easy to take
• Offering an incentive or gift (if
appropriate)
• Repeating the main benefits
Action
Action
Action
• Suggest specific and easy-to-follow
action with a deadline and reasonfor
the date.
• Don’t sound apologetic or supply
excuses.
PromptingAction
• Don’t be:
– Too General
• E.g. “We can discuss it whenever I seeyou
next!”
– Too Timid
• E.g. “If you want to know more, perhaps you
could email me if it’s not a bother.”
– Too Pushy
• E.g. “Because these training sessions are
important, I’ve already scheduled the first one
for this Friday.”
Action
• Action should be clear and specific:
– Suggest a concrete first step
Analyzing Persuasive Closings
Does the following action closing motivate
readers to act quickly? Is the action madeclear
and easy?
Unless you act quickly, you’ll be out of luckand
won’t qualify for the 10 percentdiscount.
Analyzing Persuasive Closings
Does the following action closing motivate
readers to act quickly? Is the action madeclear
and easy?
We really must have our list of speakers
finalized, so try to respond as soon aspossible.
Tone
• Create/maintain good will
• Focus on “you” view—what are the reader’sbenefits?
• Invite cooperation—think of how you would get the reader on your side.
• Don’t: lecture, condescend, intimidate, etc.
How to include research
• Use signal phrases (e.g. “According to Jeremy Lundholm, an
associate professor in Saint Mary’s Biology department, a
major benefit ofgreen roofs is storm water management”)
– Be accurate!
• Don’t use in-text citations or a referencelist.
A
I
D
A
ttention
nterest
-Get the reader’s attention
-Use a fact or statistic
-Ask a question
-Say something surprising
-Build interest in your topic
-Use facts and statistics
-Explain the current problem
*State yourrequest*
esire
ction
-Build the reader’s desire
-Give reader benefits
-Counter your reader’s arguments
-Get your reader to takeaction
-Restate your request
-Suggest a first step
-Build goodwill
Ex: Did you know that according to Statistics
Canada, Nova Scotia has more cases of
breathing related illness than any other
province in Canada?
Ex: According to Mubarak Khalid of Smoke Free Nova
Scotia, second hand smoke from cigarettes is one of
the major causesof lung, throat and mouth cancers.
Ex: To improve air quality for its students, Saint Mary’s University
should consider becoming one of the many university campuses
across Canada to become smoke free.
Ex: Although a smoke free policy can be challenging and costly to
enforce, Saint Mary’s will see an increase in student enrollmentfrom
those who want to study and live in a clean, healthy environment.
According to an article by Xioayin Qu, published in Forbes magazine,
increased enrollment could offset any costs associated with
implementing the smoke free policy.
Ex: Please consider making Saint Mary’s University a smokefree
campus.
Ex: I would appreciate the opportunity to deliver a presentation
about the benefits of a smoke free campus at the next Board of
Governors meeting.
Assignment 3 Format
Memo Format:
✓Memo header
✓No greeting
✓Omits a closing and signature
Assignment 3 Format
Four paragraphs:
1. Opening paragraph should be a brief attention-getting fact, statistic or
question. Ex: Did you know that according to CTVNews, 5 million
Canadians are going to the United States every year for cheaper flights?
–
One or two sentencestotal
2. Use research (e.g. statistical information or facts from sources) to help
you to explain why this is an important issue in which the reader should
be interested.
3. In the desire paragraph, outline the benefits of the action as well as
reduce any resistance the reader may have by countering possible
arguments.
4. Make sure the action is specific and clearly explained for the reader.
How well does this message use the AIDA Strategy?
To:
[Your boss’s name]
From: [Student’s name]
Subject: Improving Employee Productivity, Morale, andRecruiting
We employees here at First Federal think that the two most important elements in workplace productivity
are skills and highmorale.
Both of these elements can be boosted through an employer-sponsored tuition-reimbursement program.
Here’s how most programs work. Employees attend evening or online college classes. If they finish
approved courses with a C or better, they are reimbursed for the costs of books andfees.
Many local employers—such as TD Bank, Staples, GE, and Computer Associates—already have such
programs in operation. Enclosed are several articles and printouts describing such programs. These
employers consider tuition-reimbursement programs a smart investment because employees improve their
skills and create a strong pool for promotion. Surveys show that such programs improve morale andloyalty.
Moreover, companies with tuition reimbursement programs are more attractive to quality job candidates.
My colleagues and I have done research on these programs at other companies. In a meeting before April 1,
we’d like to show you our data and discuss the possibility of such a program here at First Federal. Please call
me at Ext. 348 to arrange atime.
TO:
FROM:
DATE:
SUBJECT:
COMM 2293 Students
COMM 2293 Instructors
October 7, 2019
Assignment 3 Instructions
For Assignment 3, write an indirect strategy memo.
Who you are: the administrative assistant at Jax Umbrellas (refer to case scenario)
Who your reader is: Jaqi Horowitz, Founder, Jax Umbrellas
Background information: During the summer, you and some friends ran in a marathon to help raise funds
for a charity. Participants in the marathon were all given promotional swag bags with products from local
vendors and marathon sponsors. You think that Jax could gain positive exposure by donating customized
compact umbrellas for a similar event.
Your task:
1. Choose one of the charitable organizations from the list provided on Brightspace. Research the
organization and its charitable goals. Find out what problem this organization aims to solve and
what future fundraising events it has scheduled.
2. Using the AIDA strategy in Chapter 10, draft an indirect strategy memo to Ms. Horowitz persuading
her to donate custom compact umbrellas as giveaways for your chosen charity’s fundraising event.
3. Revise your draft(s) to ensure your message follows the instructions given here, in your COMM
class, and on the checklist on the reverse side of this page.
4. Save and submit your assignment to Turnitin as a Word document by 9:00 a.m. on the due date
listed in your course schedule.
Do not copy content from any sources you might consult, including this handout, and other
COMM 2293 instructional materials; use your own words.
Do not work with other students on this assignment.
Evaluate your own assignment using this checklist.
Message follows the indirect (AIDA) strategy






interests the reader with a subject line that does not reveal the purpose of the message
gains attention in opening statement without revealing the purpose
builds sufficient interest before making request (main point)
states requested action
reduces resistance and builds desire in the reader
motivates action with an easy next step
Message gives clear, complete information to the reader





bases persuasive argument on case scenario and researched information
uses specific, researched evidence to support your argument
organizes information logically and coherently
tailors all information (facts, reader benefits, counter-arguments) to meet the specific
information needs and concerns of the reader
introduces all paraphrased and quoted information from sources with an informative signal
phrase
Message uses a professional business style and presentation




follows all the grammar and business style points assigned so far
uses correct memo format
uses full block format, with 2.5 cm margins on all sides, single spaced, readable 11- or 12-point
font, and a ragged right margin
limits message to one page (without shrinking print size or margins)
COMM 2293 – Assignment 3 – Indirect Strategy (AIDA) Message
•
•
•
Choose one of the charitable organizations from the list below.
Use the links below (and any other reliable sources you may find) to research the
organization and its charitable goals.
Find out what problem this organization aims to solve and what future events it
has scheduled.
Canadian Cancer Society
https://www.cancer.ca/en/?region=ns
The Mental Health Foundation of Nova Scotia
https://www.mentalhealthns.ca/
Phoenix Youth
https://phoenixyouth.ca/
Autism Nova Scotia

Home

Special Olympics Nova Scotia

•
You may also read the following articles to learn more about the value of
swag bags and promotional giveaways for businesses
https://www.forbes.com/sites/allbusiness/2017/12/14/branded-giveaways-and-otherpromotional-products-do-they-still-have-an-impact/#86c798377903
https://inkwellusa.com/blog/5-benefits-promotional-products-branding/
https://info.zimmercommunications.com/blog/do-event-swag-bags-really-work-forbusinesses
PERSUASIVE
MESSAGES,
SENTENCE
STRUCTURE,
PUNCTUATION
PT. 1
COMM 2293
dear John I want a man who knows
what love is all about you are
generous kind thoughtful people who
are not like you admit to being
useless and inferior you have ruined
me for other men I yearn for you I
have no feelings whatsoever when
we’re apart I can be forever happy will
you let me be yours Jane
DIRECT VS. INDIRECT
STRATEGY
Copyright © 2016 by Nelson Education Ltd.
WHAT IS PERSUASION?
Persuasion:
• Involves an attempt to influence
• Is self-persuasion
• Involves transmitting a message
• Requires free choice
EXAMPLES OF
PERSUASIVE BUSINESS
WRITING
Persuasive requests
• For time, money, information, cooperation,
special privileges (when you don’t expect the
reader/receiver to be forthcoming)
Persuasive claims:
• If a past claim has been refused or ignored, or
if you anticipate reluctance
Sales messages
WHICH PERSUASIVE
TECHNIQUES
ARE EFFECTIVE?
✓ Establish credibility.
✓ Make a reasonable, specific request.
✓ Tie facts to benefits.
✓ Recognize the power of loss.
✓ Expect and overcome resistance.
✓ Share solutions and compromise.
THE IMPORTANCE OF TONE
✓ Avoid sounding preachy or parental.
✓ Soften your words when persuading upward.
✓ Don’t pull rank.
✓ Avoid making threats.
✓ Be enthusiastic.
✓ Be positive and likeable.
✓ Maintain credibility and respect by being honest,
fair, and objective.
USE THE 3-X-3 WRITING PROCESS
Prewriting
• Analyze
• Adapt
Drafting
• Research
• Organize
Revising
• Edit
• Proofread
• Evaluate
APPLYING THE 3-X-3
WRITING PROCESS
1. Analyze the purpose; know what you
want to achieve.
2. Adapt the message to the audience to
make your message heard.
3. Research and organize persuasive data.
4. Use the AIDA strategy to persuade
readers.
BLENDING FOUR MAJOR
ELEMENTS IN SUCCESSFUL
PERSUASIVE MESSAGES
APPLYING THE FOURPART AIDA STRATEGY
ASSIGNMENT 3 PREWRITING
1. Get into groups of three or four
2. As a group, answer the following prewriting questions (next slide)
• Answer 1-5 in complete sentences
• Hand in one sheet at the end of class
• Write each group member’s name on it
now.
ASSIGNMENT 3 PREWRITING
1. Who is the primary reader of the message?
2. What is your relationship to the reader?
3. What is the basic purpose of the message?
4. What are some of the arguments the receiver might
offer to resist the persuasion?
5. What could be used to motivate the reader to accept?
6. Strategy: Direct or Indirect?
7. Channel: Memo or letter?
8. How many pages should the message be?
9. When is the workshop?
10.When is it due to Turnitin.com?
11.What is its value toward your final grade?
ASSIGNMENT THREE
ANALYSIS
1. Primary reader of message:
_____________________________________
2. Writer’s relationship with reader:
_____________________________________
3. Basic purpose of the message:
____________________________________________________
______________
____________________________________________________
______________
ASSIGNMENT THREE
ANALYSIS
4. What are some of the arguments the receiver might offer to
resist the persuasion?
____________________________________________________
______________
____________________________________________________
______________
5. What could be used to motivate the reader to accept?
____________________________________________________
______________
____________________________________________________
______________
ASSIGNMENT THREE
ANALYSIS
6. Strategy:
direct or indirect?
7. Channel:
memo or letter?
8. Length:
_____ pages
Due dates: draft in class for workshop
________________________________
final submitted to turnitin
__________________________________
Value: ____ % of final grade